youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
