Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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