i think my tv is drunk
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
