so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
where does the pee come out of this thing
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
