So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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