Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize