That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize