What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
