so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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