Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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