he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
