ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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