Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Need sex. Gaining weight.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
