she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
