guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
mondays should just be called national damage control day
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
