Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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