I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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