I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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