At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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