I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
