I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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