I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
