he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
