Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
All I want is dick and wine.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
