but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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