waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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