it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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