Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
