And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Randomize
