Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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