Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
