I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
only you would photoshop your dick
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
