I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
