I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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