My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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