Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
