Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He better not be in your backpack
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
