Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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