Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
