New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
This is my gift to your gina
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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