Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
