At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
