DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize