I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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