oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
