I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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