Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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