at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
