On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
