She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
