she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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