btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Michael Bay diarrhea
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
