I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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