now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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