It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
