Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize