Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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