I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
i out mim tonsoeep
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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