: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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