Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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