I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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