your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You smell like stripper and shame
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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