The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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