Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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