I can tuck mytits in my pants
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize