all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Randomize
